Welcome to Storybrooke
by basicallymm
Summary: Imagine that Once Upon a Time wasn't just a show made for your entertainment. That it is real, and that all the lands exist. And the show was only made in order to guide YOU to understanding where you came from. Join Rachel, a OUAT fangirl just like you, as she discovers her true identity and learns how to have the courage to be who she has to be.
1. Chapter 1

My phone lights up and at first I don't really process who it is from or that I should see what it says. I am focused on my 750 words and I don't want to stop. But finally I reach my goal and take a break to see it's from David. My heart beats fast and I swipe the stupid touch screen to see what is going on.

"Hey, are you going to do it tonight?" Ha. I wish. But I don't have the guts actually.

"I WANT TO. But I think my parents will find it a little odd. So probably not." Ew. Thats me in a nutshell right there. He must think I am so lame.

"CHICKEN." I don't see him going star tipping.

"I don't see you going star tipping." ha. I'm so good at comebacks it should be my life profession. Not.

"Well. Maybe we both are." Disappointing response. I want him so badly to be like oh will you do it if I come by and drive us to a field somewhere. "What are you up to?" Two messages within a minute. What is happening with my life?

"Just writing some stuff. You?" Oh wait, nothing. I have such a boring life.

"I'm outside your house." What. That must be a joke. My heart literally is like a kick drum and I think I might explode. I peek out the window. Sure enough there sits a car in the driveway with its headlights on. I yell to my parents that I have to talk to David outside. They don't respond so I run out.

"Hey! What the heck are you doing here?" I must seem frazzled because he just laughs at me and shakes his head.

"What do you think I'm doing here? We gone go star tipping!" I smile. I tell him I have to run inside to grab my shoes and my parents try to stop me. But that whole ordeal is another story for another time. Anyways. When I finally escape I slam the door to his red Honda and we put it in reverse.

"I can't believe you actually showed up at my house." I'm laughing and looking out at the window trying so hard not to gawk at his beautiful… beautiful face.

"I figured you could use some Friday night fun!"

"You have no idea." Ha. And he probably does have some idea. My Friday nights have never been too extraordinary. But I am already getting the feeling that this one will be a night to remember for a LONG time. We pull up to a field fifteen minutes later. The stars are out and at first neither of us gets out of the car we just sit there in silence.

"Well. Step to it. I got the flashlight. And you go first..." Of course. I get to humiliate myself first. OF COURSE. Oh well. I can do this; I am the one who told him about it. I should be the one to do it first.

"Okay so I am supposed to focus on one star and spin in circles for 20 seconds and then yell 'hit me' and you shine the flashlight in my face. Sounds fantastic. Hopefully I don't hit my head on a rock or something, I would do that." He just laughs and points at me to get spinning. So I look up. So many stars. Look how they all shine and it feels like they shine just for us. David and I. Just for us to make a fool of ourselves. I pick a particularly bright one so it's easy to find. And then I start spinning. Which is actually harder than it looks in bare feet on uneven ground. Soon I feel myself swaying and finally I scream, "Hit me!" And everything went black.

My head feels like it has been repeatedly banged against _the_ iceberg in order to avoid the titanic from crashing headlong into it instead. At first I don't open my eyes. I feel the air sharp against my goosebumped skin. I can feel the world rotating beneath me and my stomach quivers at the thought of a rapidly spinning rock in the universe. But my nausea is interrupted by the feeling of soft lips against my own. At first I stay frozen but then I catch my breath and open my eyes. The overwhelming sensation of not being where I was before hits me like a brick against a window who thought they could stand the pressure and I mentally pinch myself.

And suddenly I know where I am. And I know what I am supposed to say. So I say it without the slightest bit of doubt engraved in the famous words of my favorite characters.

"You found me." David in his flannel shirt has his hands on my cheeks. His own cheeks wet with the streaks of now forgotten sadness. I smile at him. I could totally go with this storyline if he is my prince Charming and I am his Snow.

"Did you ever doubt I would?" I decide to kind of not follow script because hey it's my version so I just kiss him again because I like the feeling where my heart flutters. David helps me out of the coffin and I look around. And something is not right. This is supposed to be the enchanted forest. But instead I swear we are in a regular forest. In fact, not a regular forest. Because there is the well. The well where the waters come from Lake Nostos. It couldn't be-

"David, where are we?" My voice trembles. The excitement builds. This may all be in my head but it is the closest thing to reality I have ever experienced. David grabs my hand and pulls me so that we hug and I inhale the smell of pine and that musty smell I can't quite describe.

"You don't remember? Well, Anna. Welcome to Storybrooke!" My knees crumble and I'm out again.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm afraid to open my eyes. David must think I am the biggest idiot ever to have fallen so hard after spinning for like 2 seconds. He will hate me or think I am stupid. Or maybe he isn't even here anymore. I peek out from under my eyelashes. And realize I'm not in the country fields of the world I know. Everything is white. And I can hear someone softly breathing beside me. I turn my head. Right. David in his signature Flannel sleeping beside what must be a hospital bed. I hear the door open and try to sit up.

"Oh good you are awake! Hey, be careful, lay back down." Instantly I know who she is. But she can't know that so I just breathe out and lay back down. Her long blonde curls and red leather jacket are just out of view from my position. And all I want to do is beg her to come closer so I can hug her and fan-girl. But that would be ridiculous because I'm IN Storybrooke. Which means this isn't JMO this is Emma. The fictional character. Not the actress. And she is going to want to ask some questions.

"What happened to me exactly?" My voice sounds so feeble and timid. Maybe I really hurt myself.

"We are trying to figure that out. Your boyfriend over there" She gestures to David and I feel myself blush in spite of everything I'm hooked up to that really should prevent a red face, "carried you into town and said you needed medical assistance. But he won't tell us what happened. Or where you are from? We know David but we never knew he was seeing someone. And someone from out of town!" Oh right. The whole. Storybrooke should not have visitors thing. I guess I just come up with a story.

"All I remember was going out with David to some field to star gaze. And on our way back I must have fallen and hit my head really bad or something. I don't know. I'm sorry it is so hard to focus. There is SO much pain." And there was. It felt like someone was stabbing the back of my head with a dagger repeatedly. SO that's always good.

"It's alright. Dr. Whale said you should be fine with some rest. Sorry. I'm the Sheriff of this Town. Emma. Emma Swan."

"Nice to meet you, Emma. Thanks again for everything. I'm really sorry if I am a burden." I smile at her. But all I'm really thinking about is Ginny and Josh. Ahem I mean Snow and Charming. And how they are probably waiting outside for Emma to tell them who the heck I am. Ginny. I am in the same vicinity as my idol.

"No Problem, Anna... Anna, Right? Why don't you get some rest? So you can get back to your life." Maybe I don't want to. I close my eyes and I hear her exit. David walks over to my side.

"Hey, sleepy head! She finally left... Sheriff shouldn't be bothering you when your head must hurt so badly."

"Yeah about that. I'm confused." He brushes a strand of my hair away from my face and sits down on the bed with me.

"About what?" He asks his confusion plain on his handsome perfect little face. Everything. How he seems to have memories of being in Storybrooke and I don't. How any of this is happening. I keep waiting to wake up in the field or in my bedroom but they never come.

"Never mind. We can talk later." He tells me to get some rest while he goes out to eat. I ask him before he leaves if he knows who Mary Margaret is. And his face lights up. Of course! He says. Do you remember? "Not really. But if you see her. Can you tell her what happened...and maybe ask if she can come see me? Tell her it's okay to wake me up too!" I wanted to see her. SO badly. Like its all I care about. Maybe I can actually talk to her. David tells me "I will find her" and in my head I laugh because David finding Mary Margaret is pretty much a cliché... Well not my David. Her David. Wow this name thing is going to be complicated. But he doesn't know that. Or maybe he does..

I must have fallen asleep at some point but I wake to a light pressure on my left hand. I open my eyes slowly. And turn my head. And at first I smile. And then tears are streaming down my face and I don't know how to control it. It's Snow. It's the Snow I have always dreamed of meeting. And she really is her. Holding my hand. Sitting next to me. She starts crying too. She puts her hand on my face. And at first I think she just pities me. But then I realize they are real tears. Why? She shouldn't know me. Emma doesn't know me. So how could Snow?

"Snow?" She closes her eyes. Like I had slapped her in the face just by saying her name. And I want to take it back. I don't want to cause her pain. That's the last thing I want to do. But I have to know. We sit there. Me with the tears still pooling on my face. Snow with her eyes closed and her hand gripped tightly with mine. But I have to ruin it. I have to know. But what if she hates me for not knowing. For not understanding. I open my mouth to speak but Snow bends over and starts ugly sobbing and hugs me the best way she can with me laying down. I put my chin on her shoulder. I'm shaking. I can't explain it. All I can say is my heart felt like bursting. And at this moment I am almost okay with that happening now that I have hugged Snow.

"Rachel." I flinch at this. She lets go of me but her nose is almost touching mine. Our tears run together as one stream that finally has enough fuel to flow. Her eyes shine just like Jen's did back home and it used to always make me smile.

"Who am I, Snow? WHO AM I?" Snow bites her lip and brushes a tear from my face.

"It's a lot to take in at once." What does that even mean! I want to scream but I know it wouldn't be the best idea. So I wait for her to continue. "Let's start in the broadest way possible. This. This moment right here. Isn't the first time we have met." I surely would have remembered.."Ra- …Anna..is it? Anna, we love each other very very much. And 15 years ago when you were just months old...You were taken from us." IS SHE IMPLYING THAT- "Honey. Remember the blonde sheriff that came in and asked some questions? That's my daughter."

"I know but I still don't underst-" Snow interrupts me and I'm still shaking uncontrollably.

"Emma. Her name is Emma. Emma is Charming and I's daughter. Your sister." Numbness. Like being dropped in an ice cold lake and trying to swim ashore to an understanding you can't seem to find. "I know that you just woke up. And that I should have waited to tell you until you were back on your feet but...I just. When they said David had found you. My _daughter.."_ I was shaking my head. Violently. As much as I have always wanted to believe this as true, I do have a life at home. I have a family and a school and teachers and friends who love me and will miss me.

"No. I have a family. Brothers. And Parents. They love me. I have a school. I have a home. And that can't possibly all be fake. Are you trying to say 15 years of my life have been a lie? That I wasn't meant to be there? I was supposed to be here. With you. And Emma." I could tell this hurt her. But she isn't shocked. I wanted to not say these things. But I'm confused. When am I going to wake up from all of this silliness? None of this is happening. It is all a dream. Just one long, crazy dream that feels like reality.

"I know. It wasn't a lie. I'm sure they love you. But we love you too. And we haven't known you for 15 years. Think of it this way. They are extended family that were just taking care of you for a while when we couldn't."

"Did they know?" My voice is flat. And mad. "Did they know I really wasn't their daughter? That I really was the product of two fairy tale characters? Did they even really love me or was it just them pretending and filling your shoes until I found my way home?"

"Don't you say that! EVER. They love you. They loved you. And they always will. But they did know. They knew most everything. And I'm not even going to ask how you know I'm Snow..."

"I'm Sorry, Gi- Snow. I just. It's hard for me to make sense of all of this. Can we just not talk about the bitty details right now? I just want to sit here with you. You have no idea, Snow. No idea. I want so badly to tell you everything about how I know you. And how I practically worshipped you back at home." And I did tell her. And I started it in the most ironic way.

"Once Upon a Time, there was an average little girl with above average grades. She wasn't very social. But she loved school and would often find herself befriending teachers and writing. School was all she really knew. And then one day a friend told her about this fairy tale show on TV. And it sounded like something she would enjoy. So she got on the internet and watched 7 of the episodes straight and fell in love. And in those episodes contained the story of a land of fairytale creatures that were ripped from the homes by the Queen's curse and to our land where they didn't remember who they are, and time stood still. Until your daughter..." And I told the whole story and she listened patiently even though she knew most of the fine details already. She didn't interrupt. But by the time I left off at Ginny. The actress. (Which honestly I'm seriously confused about) and Season 3 about to start I interrupted myself and said, "You must think I am crazy."

"It is a crazy thought to think that our lives have been created into some fanciful story show that entertains. But I believe you... and you need to understand. Obviously the show was made in order to guide you here. And you are. And I am thrilled. Now this Ginny you love. That is still me. It's just not what I go by. But I guess you can call me whatever you want. I want you to consider staying for a while after you get released from the hospital. I need some time with you. And your father would sure like to see you as soon as possible." I hear the door open and he rushes to my side and I look up at him and he just stares at Snow and I. Clinging to each other our eyes red and sore from crying.

I reach out my right hand as far as it can go with the IV still in. And he stares at it. And then looks at Snow. And she laughs. And he comes over and kneels beside the bed and grabs my hand. And I'm crying again. Because this is the moment I have been dreaming of ever since I was born as a little fan-girl in eighth grade. Being together with my little Charming family.

"Charming. She goes by Anna." He nods. He can't even speak. He is shocked to see me obviously. But so am I. So it works out pretty well.

"Does Emma know?" She isn't here. And it feels awkward to think my older sister isn't here. (I'm getting to the point where I'm just playing along and accepting there actually is a possibility this is all real) But I am getting so tired. I try unsuccessfully to stifle my yawn and Snow starts to apologize and says I should sleep when David comes in with a box of doughnuts. He takes one look at us. Walks up to me and kisses me on the forehead. Then says he will come back tonight. I smile. He gets it. I need some family time.

"Uh, Rachel? To answer your question. Emma didn't know when she came in to ask some questions. But when she came back and told us what happened we knew for sure it was you. And told her. She should be coming back soon. She had to pick Henry up from school." Oh Charming always the awkward one. I look at Snow who is just gazing at me in the cutest way possible.

"Snow? What did you say you named me again?" She laughed.

"Rachel. But we don't have to call you that. You can be Anna. It would be weird to suddenly change names." At first I nodded in agreement. But then I thought about it. And I changed my mind.

"No. If you don't mind. I think I'm going to go by Rachel from now on. I like the thought of a fresh start." At that Emma walked in. With the kid slash boy slash tween, Henry rushing in front of her towards my bed.

"So you're my Aunt! You aren't much older than me are you?" There is Henry for you. Open, direct, and nosy.

"Yeah, I guess so, kid." Emma is staring at me in this weird way. Snow won't take her eyes away from me, so she doesn't notice. But Charming sees it too. He gets up and backs away from me. And Emma walks over to my bed. And stands leaning against the railing and her head bowed down. I do the same thing with Emma that I did with Charming. I reach my hand out. Now very shaky. My eyes are barely open. At first she doesn't see my effort. Then she does. But still she only stares. And I hear Henry whisper.

"Mom, you are supposed to grab her hand!" And then she does. And I feel a jolt. Like getting a static shock. And with my last bit of waking minutes I know I have to tell Emma exactly what is true and what she needs to hear.

"Emma. I know I'm the new one. I'm the new family member. And you used to be in the same spot. And it was scary. And you finally met your parents. And you finally got settled with Henry and you were happy. But of course a new surprise had to show up. And this time it was me. And I'm sorry. Im so so sorry. About all the things I know you had to go through and all the things I have no clue about. But just this first day that I'm here. I want you to know something. You are so powerful. And so beautiful. And such a good mother. I want you to know that I already love you. I love you and I have loved you. And will love you. And there is absolutely nothing you could do to change that." A single tear rolls down her face. She is kneeling beside me. My eyes are closed. I am struggling to stay awake. Snow is still with me. And so is Emma. And I feel her breath against my ear.

"I know what you are worried about. You are worried I won't be able to accept a new member to the family. But kid. You are going to learn real soon that life here is so complicated. That having a new member is only a blessing, nothing to get worked up about. I would never ever hate you for appearing out of nowhere. Because we are family. And family sticks together even when they thought they had already fallen apart. I-" That's all I caught before I whispered "I always wanted a sister." and drifted off on a cloud.


	3. Chapter 3

"So she knows everything?" Emma. Oh yeah. Welcome to Storybrooke. Am I going to have to relive this realization every time I wake up now?

"Almost. I think there may be a few details missing that weren't in the show." Snow. And she probably is totally right, "Like the fact you have been in Storybrooke with us for three years now." THREE YEARS!? I'm totally not supposed to be hearing this, probably. I give them a few seconds and then do this fake waking up stretch to warn them their topic of conversation has now awoken.

"Good morning, Sunshine." Snow is fantastic by the way.. SO cheery. I survey the room. Snow sits right beside me, as if she had never left. And I start to worry she never did. Emma sits on the couch her feet up on the arm rest her body facing me. And through the glass window I see David and Charming chatting. I reach to grab Snow's hand but she does it for me. "Feel better with some rest?"

"Yeah, actually. I feel almost back to normal just a little out of whack." And that was the truth. My headache had subsided to a dull ache that could easily be ignored and everything else was fine as far as I could tell. Emma sits up and walks over to me.

"Hey, I gotta' go Kid. Stay with her Mary Margaret. And keep me updated on when they think she can be released. She looks so much better today. She might even get to leave tonight!" She is so positive today. That's a rare occurrence in Emma-ville to the best of my knowledge.

"Why is she so optimistic all of the sudden?" I ask when the door closes. Snow laughs.

"I think finding out she has a little sister now has affected her in ways Charming and I would have never imagined." Before I can respond to that interesting thought the door opens again. The clicking of heels against the tiles of the hospital floor tells me only one thing.

"Regina, glad to see you found time to make a visit." What world do we live in where Snow is actually talking in this tone with Regina. Well the weirder part was the response she got from the "Evil Queen".

"I tried to come as soon as I heard but they wouldn't let me in. I'm sorry." She strode over to the bed and sat down on the edge. She pats my leg and chuckles. "So this is the new Charming. She's so young! Only but, sixteen years old right?" This is a Regina... Lana fans would never believe was real... is all I can think. But it seems Snow and her have finally made up in the best way that could be arranged so I try to be sweet and nice.

"Regina! Hi! How are you?" She gives me a weird look. Probably because of my upbeat tone that made it seem like we had met before. And basically we had. Through my obsession with OUAT. She comes closer to me and pulls up a chair opposite of Snow. And suddenly I remember I'm still in a hospital. And why? I feel okay. Is there some reason they are keeping me here? I decide to ask Snow after Regina leaves.

"I'm getting along just fine, Rachel. Thank you. But I'm more worried about why you are still in the hospital." Regina looks at Snow and speaks directly towards her as if I had disappeared and couldn't hear her speak about me, "Have you heard anything? Has Whale been in to see her yet this morning?" She says Whale in a tone that shows her hatred towards him. I think hard trying to remember what could have made her dislike him. But I can't remember for the life of me.

Snow shakes her head. But in a sad way. And then she squeezes my hand. "Rachel, honey, I'm going to go outside and talk to Regina for a minute. Is that alright?" The way she says my name makes it easy to forget that I didn't always know her as my mother. I tell her it's okay. When she leaves David comes in. And I am genuinely happy to see him. Maybe he knows something about why I am still in the hospital. But by the sour face I have a feeling he won't tell me what he knows yet.

"Hey, Anna Banana. How ya feeling?" I smile at him as he kisses me on the forehead and sits in the chair beside me.

"Okay. And actually its Rachel now." He chuckles and exhales loudly like he is trying breathe out all the stress he seems to be struggling under. He still has on the same flannel and his hair is a little messed up. There are dark circles under his eyes that seem to be looking into another world.

"Gosh. Rachel. It suits you."

"I thought so too." We sit there in silence for a while. I'm distracted by the nurse coming in changing the IV. And then by realizing I could see Snow and Regina talking through the glass. They both keep glancing at me and I keep quickly averting my eyes. Charming waved bye to me probably going to help Emma with something. But finally the nurse leaves. And I focus on David who is now looking down at his hands which a tightly gripped with mine. "Why did you never tell me?" I say it so quietly. Because I suddenly feel so weak. But he heard me. And he shook his head. So I say, "We barely were even friends, David. You were dating Shay when we went star tipping. I don't get it." He looks angered by that.

"We were friends. I just didn't want to be the one to force a relationship on you. Shay and I had broken up before school even started. I was just waiting for the right time to start spending more time with you. I'm sorry. I didn't tell you because at first I didn't know." I close my eyes. Partly out of anger partly because my breathing was slowing and half of me already seemed to be asleep. "You have to realize that no one knew the whole story. We are still trying to figure it out. And when we do of course we won't keep it from you." The door opens and I hear ragged breathing. Snow. I open my eyes.

"Snow." She grabs my hand and David gets up and walks away. I don't call after him.

"I'm here now, Rachel. I'm here and I'm not going to leave you."

The beep beep beeping of the heart monitor is the sound that wakes me up. This time I open my eyes right away. Snow sits in her usual spot reading a book by Hemingway. Charming sits beside her reading what looks like a medical file. A deep crease is engraved in his forehead. I hear the door swing open.

"Ah, good! You're up." Snow looks up from her book first at Whale then at me. My eyes wide open and still staring at the medical file. She gets up and sits on the bed with me. She brushes my greasy cropped hair out of my eyes. And tries to give me a hopeful smile. And I try too. But we both equally failed with the slight hand of worry pushing all happiness away. Whale grabs the clipboard from Charming. "It's really good for you to get a lot of rest. So I'm not going to talk long. But basically I have come to say we think we may know what is wrong. And it has nothing to do with hitting your head." Snow sniffles. She must already know what I am about to find out. What could I possibly have done to myself? Whale takes a deep breath. "We ran some scans. All you really need to know now is that you are very ill. You somehow picked up a sickness we haven't seen in years on your travels here. I'm going to leave your parents to explain the fine details. But if you have any questions or concerns please let a nurse know." A sickness. What does that even mean?

He walks out of the room and Snow is waiting for me to say something. "I'm going to be okay right?" I did feel really weak. But I wasn't coughing. Or throwing up. So how could I be sick. Charming is sitting by me on the other side of the bed now. "You aren't saying anything. Why aren't you saying anything?" Still nothing. Only the beeping of the heart monitor. I start crying. I can't help it. Why aren't they saying anything. Coming to Storybrooke was supposed to be the best thing to ever happen to me. But apparently it was the worst. Because I'm starting to think I'm not going to ever survive long enough to see anything other than the hospital. Snow isn't crying. She looks empty. She lost a daughter. She gained a daughter. She had another daughter. She lost her. She gained her. Now she is going to lose her again.

She hugs me and Charming does too and we all just lay there. Me crying even though I have no clue what is happening. Tears silently falling onto my pillow from Charming. Snow just shaking. I wonder what they are thinking. I wonder what I should be thinking. What I should know by now.

"We aren't going to lose you again, Rachel." At this I cry harder. When she said that to Emma she meant it. She flung herself into a portal so Emma wouldn't be alone. So Snow wouldn't be without her daughter. But if they aren't going to lose me, I don't know how they are going to save me. I know nothing about what is wrong with me. But I am starting to believe it has something to do with a curse. A curse they don't know how to break. Yet. I test this theory by saying the only thing that is my source of hope.

"Charming broke the sleeping curse for Snow. Then Emma broke the curse here. Then Snow broke the sleeping curse for Charming. If there is one thing this family is good at. It's breaking a curse." And it was true. I believed in my family. We could do this. I'm not going back home. As much as Mom and Dad probably miss me, it would only hurt my family here by leaving. So, I can't leave.

Charming's laugh is unsteady through his breaths but his deep voice gets through to us both, "Snow, she already has your optimism." And then we all laugh, staying there like that. The Charming's minus Emma. Together again. And nothing was going to tear us apart. We are so much stronger than anything Magic can conjure. Because we are a family.


	4. Chapter 4

No one is in the room for the first time ever when I wake up. I haven't seen David since he stormed out. I have no clue what time it is. It must be the middle of the night. I desperately want Snow to come back. Or Emma. Or someone. I don't want to alone here. So I guess I will just sleep some more.

It feels like I have slept a long time and yet still no one is here. But this time I decide to call for a nurse to ask if everything is okay. A nurse walks by my door and sees I'm awake and she opens the door.

"How are you feeling, Sweet heart?" I try to sit up so I can talk louder but everything in my body aches when I try. That's weird. She rushes over to me and uses a switch to move one end of the bed higher so I am sitting up.

"Where did everyone go?" She shakes her head. She doesn't know. Maybe they just went home to rest. I shouldn't expect them to stay here 24/7 but it was a nice thought to think Snow was always watching over me. The nurse doesn't stay long. She asks if she wants someone to call Snow back. And I tell her not to. I don't want to worry anyone. But I do feel a lot worse. Hopefully this curse isn't a downward spiral.

It feels like a lot of time passed by where I just stared at the blank wall in front of me before Emma walked in.

"Hey, Kid. I was hoping you were still sleeping. Sorry none of us were here." The concern was written deep on her face.

"No. It's fine. I was just worried something happened while I was asleep."

"Mary Margaret wanted to stay with you but we ended up needing her. Trust me she is not happy to have left you alone. She knew you would wake up and worry."

"What were you doing? Where is everyone now?" She is trying to hide something from me and I don't like it.

"We are trying to figure out how to get you better. I know you must feel terrible, Kid. I'm sorry about that." And I can tell that she is.

"Why did you end up needing Snow?" Emma looks at me blankly and then realizes that I am talking about Mary Margaret. It's funny how she still calls her that after all this time where Charming and everyone here must call her Snow.

"I really don't want to get into everything without them here. I know it sucks being left in the dark. I have been there. But everything is going to be okay soon and then we won't have to worry about all this stuff. Hey, I called David. And he is on his way. I have to get back, Kid."

I want her to stay. And I almost ask her to. But I decide against it because I can tell she wants to stay but cannot.

"Tell them I'm okay all right?" Suddenly I have a coughing fit and barely can breathe. Emma walks over to my bed and puts her hand on my forehead checking my temperature.

"I'm not going to lie, kid." And with that she walked out. There is the Emma I knew on TV. And it almost made me smile. But then I realized that meant I wasn't getting better. I was getting worse. And I need to get better now.

When David got here he didn't say anything. He just sat in the corner and ended up falling asleep. And even though he was being a jerk it was more comforting having someone and I soon fell asleep as well.

Thank God. Snow is here. She's leaning over me holding hands with Charming and I open my eyes and cry out

"Mom." And her hand drops. And I stare at her. And she is smiling. But crying at the same time. Apparently she has tears yet left in her. I had started to think she had run out. We don't say anything we just look at each other. And then. "Dad?" He had gotten up. He turns around and looks at me with a smile. His eyes are swollen. He comes and kisses me on my head and then walks out. "Any progress on the curse breaking thing?" Snow sighs. I know that is probably the last thing she wants to talk about with me but I can't help it I am dying here so..

"We went and saw Rumple yesterday. That's why we weren't here when you woke up." I look at her waiting for her to tell me more. "He wasn't too helpful. His best guess is that however David and you were transported here was also a curse. But he can't help until we figure out how you got here." I grab her hand. "We are trying sweetheart. It's just going to take some time." My breath comes out ragged as I work up the energy to speak.

"Have you seen David? He has been acting really weird around me lately. He won't say anything." Snow bites her lip and closes her eyes. She mumbles something but I can't hear because I cough right when she says it. "What?"

"He left, Rachel."

"What?" What. Why would he leave? He would just leave me here? He was the one who brought me here. He was going to be my only normalcy and now he is gone. "I'm assuming we don't know where he went."

"But we can guess. Probably back home."

"Did you talk to him at all before you got here. He was with me the last time I was awake." She nods,

"He said he had to do something."

"That's it?"

"That's it." I shake my head. I want to tell her all about him. And I want to hear what she knows about him in Storybrooke. But before I can speak everything goes black. But I am still aware of Snow beside me screaming. My back arches and I feel a jolt of electricity down my spine. The door swings open and I sense people surrounding me. My whole body twitches with pain every few seconds. Snow is still screaming. I don't think I am. But I should be. I could be gone soon. This could be it. My last moments I won't even get to see my mother's face. But a few minutes later I feel a needle go into my skin and...


	5. Chapter 5

I shiver. I pull the blankets tighter around me. It is so cold. I slowly open my eyes. And I tilt my head ever so slightly to look out the glass paned wall. Snow, Charming, and Emma instantly rush into the room.

"How are you?"

"Do you feel alright?"

"Kid, say something."

"Guys, I'm fine. Why are you freaking out? I am just super cold." Charming leaves to get more blankets and Snow frowns at me.

"Why are we freaking out, you ask? Because you scared us all to death." What is she talking about? I must have just fallen asleep not that long ago. I don't remember anything happening out of the ordinary…

"What did I do that scared you so much? Gosh guys you're acting like I was on my death bed or something." That was supposed to be a joke. But no one laughs. So I nervously chuckle until Emma speaks up.

"Kid. You aren't exactly in the best position to make jokes about almost dying." What the heck. I wasn't trying to be morbid.

"Honey, Do you really not remember?" Snow's voice was serious. So I decided to not joke anymore.

"Remember what? I'm sorry, I really don't know what you are talking about." Charming comes in right after I say that with another blanket and lays it over me. He obviously sees how Snow is upset and asks what is wrong.

"She doesn't remember."

"How could she not-" Gold walks in and interrupts him

"She doesn't remember because that's part of the curse. She will keep having seizures like that as long as she stays in Storybrooke. And each time she will lose memories more and more. Which in case you were wondering, it is not the best feeling ever having someone you love have no idea who you are or that they loved you too." Seizure? I didn't have a seizure. Surely I would have remembered having a seizure.

"No. No it can't work that way." Charming is no pacing the small extent of the room, it is pretty crowded with all of us here.

"What we should be asking, David, is how we can prevent this from happening." Emma has a point.

"If you were listening, Ms. Swan. I said as long as she stays in Storybrooke. If she leaves then she will stop have them. The curse will be broken." What if I don't want to leave?

"There has to be another way." Snow's eyes are damp and she's gripping my arm tightly.

"That's the true conundrum isn't it, dearie? If you don't let your daughter go she's going to lose all memories, including the ones from the show, and then you will lose her. But if you do let her go you lose her too." Rumple twirls his cane and smirks at me.

"What do you want, Rumple. Just tell me. I know you have something that could solve all of this." My voice sounds stronger than it has the whole time I have been here. Charming glares at me and starts to ask Rumple to leave now.

"I believe. That this is her decision. Not yours." This makes Charming furious.

"She's only fifteen! And we are her parents. We decide what's best for her. And getting involved with you isn't what's best." Charming almost has him out the door.

"Guys, this may be the only way. I don't want to leave. And I don't think you want to lose me either!" That was a cold blow. And at first I had thought it might work. But it ended up making everyone more defensive.

"No, Rachel. Charming is right. You shouldn't be making deals with Gold your second day at Storybrooke. It's just not a good idea. I can't believe you are even considering it, you know how he is." Great now Snow is mad too.

"Kid, listen to them. You are too young. I wouldn't let Henry make a deal with him either. I get where you are coming from. But let's look at our other options first." Wow. Even Emma.

"Fine. But if we can't figure something out soon. You should expect me to reach out to him. Because I refuse to leave you. Or forget you." They don't say anything. So I take it as reluctant agreement. Gold leaves content with my proposition, and probably confident we won't find another way.

"Don't you ever do that again." Charming says and then walks out. Probably to chase after Gold and scold him. Which I am sure will be ever so effective. Not.

"Do what?" I ask Snow innocently.

"Rachel, we are your parents. And maybe you haven't realized this yet, but we know what's best for you. In the show, I'm sure you saw how Emma made her own decisions. But she is an adult. And you are still young. We have experience with magic and deals that you don't have." I just shake my head. It feels like one of those days I used to have where I wouldn't tolerate anyone. Anything anyone said irritated me. And at this moment, I was annoyed that Snow only saw me as a little kid who she has to make decisions for.

"Kid. I'm going to go pick Henry up from school. When I come back, you better either be sleeping. Or talking to someone. Because I can already see that stubborn 'I'm just not going to talk' face and that's not going to work." And with that Emma left leaving Snow and I behind. I couldn't look at her. So instead I counted the specks on the ceiling. I could feel her looking at me. But I didn't know what to say.

"Emma is right you know. Giving me the silent treatment is NOT going to work at all." I just sigh. "We are going to figure something out. But it's not going to come from Gold. And you need to get that idea out of your head." I turn to look out in the hospital hallway. A few nurses wave as they walk by. "Rachel." Nothing. Nothing until I fell asleep, just to make sure Emma didn't haunt me when she returned.

When I wake, only Emma and Henry are in the room. Henry is flipping through his book on the couch and Emma is looking down at her phone when I open my eyes. I don't let them know I'm awake. But Henry looks up soon enough to see me looking at him.

"Hey, I think she is awake!" Emma looks up from her phone and looks at me and smiles.

"Hey, kid. How are you?"

"Still cold. But other than that I'm okay, I didn't have a-" She interrupts me

"No. No you didn't. Mary Margaret and David are at the library trying to find another way. Henry thought it would be a good idea to look in the book. I thought you might like some company. So here we are."

"Yeah, thanks."

"I heard you gave our mother the silent treatment." I didn't say anything. It feels really stupid to have done that to her now. "It really hurt her you know. I suggest the next time you see her you apologize. She will understand." Still nothing. "I get it you know. I get feeling so helpless and everyone having to do everything for me. That's how it was when I went to the Enchanted forest." I look at her now. She is right. Emma kept screwing up while Snow had to keep saving her. That's pretty much my situation now.

"Emma, I still haven't found anything like this in here," Henry flips through his book desperate look on his face, "If we don't find a cure soo-"

"We will, Henry. It will be alright." I smile. He always uses his book for support. The English teachers back home would be so proud.

"So, Henry, no one has ever been affected by something like this." I speak directly to him. And I can tell Emma notices but she doesn't mention it.

"Not that I can find. The only thing I keep remembering is when my mom, Regina, and Gold put that spell on the well so that anyone who went through it would die. But you didn't die so that isn't it, but it might have been something like that."

"Did I go through a portal to get here?"

"Well did you drive in?"

"No…"

"Didn't think so."

"What was the last thing you remember before you woke up here?" Now Emma butts in, but I decide it's not worth shutting out all the people who only want to protect me.

"Um.. let's see. David surprised me at my house. We drove to a field out in the middle of nowhere. And we went star tipping and that's the last thing I remember before I got here."

"What the hell is star tipping?" Emma looks thoroughly confused which doesn't surprise me because that is what everyone said back home too.

"It's where you go out at night. And you look up at the sky and you pick a star. You focus on that one star and spin in circles and then yell hit me and the other person shines a flash light in your face and you are just supposed to fall over. I just assumed I hit my head when I first woke up but then I saw where we were and was super confused." Henry's face lights up. And I'm not sure why.

"Henry, you aren't allowed to go star tipping if that is what you are about to ask." I laugh at this

"Yeah I would have to agree on that one. Look where I ended up."

"Don't you two see? The star! The star Rachel focused on somehow served as a portal that took her and David here." Now that I think about it it kind of makes sense. But why would someone make a star a portal to Storybrooke. Who would do that?

Emma just sits there with a blank face thinking for a moment and then, "You might be on to something, Kid. So let's just say that's how she got here. So what? How is that going to help us find the cure?"

"If we find out how or who did this to her, then Mr. Gold can probably create a cure! That's the only way." Henry is already getting up about to leave. And I just go huh really loudly because I knew he was the only way.

"Henry, where the heck do you think you are going? Stay here and talk to Rachel." She slowly gets up. "Rach, I'm going to go talk to someone."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

And then its black.

"Uh Emma, I think you might want to see this." I hear footsteps and then a calm voice.

"Henry, go get Whale. And then go call David and Mary Margaret." A thousand amps of electricity scorch my veins and I cry out.

"Is she okay?"

"Henry, Now." I hear him sprint out the room and then I can't focus on Emma's voice. My face is on fire and my body is convulsing in a steady pattern. I hear a calm voice trying to comfort me but I can't make out the words over the screaming. MAKE IT STOP. I see a burst of white light and then shouts and a siren. I feel the sharp prick of som-


	6. Chapter 6

"Is she alright? She looks so pale." A cute British accent tells me only one thing. Belle. Which makes me smile. Which makes everyone in the room realize I'm awake even though I haven't opened my eyes yet. When I do I see Belle, Emma, Red, and Snow. Red has her cloak on. Must be full moon tonight.

"Hey." I whisper. And they all just stare at me. Emma is the first one to speak.

"Do me a favor and tell me what happened before you fell asleep." I close my eyes trying to remember.

"Uh. Gold came and talked to us. And he wanted to make a deal. And I did too. But you guys got really mad. And then you left. And it was just Snow and I. And I gave her the silent treatment. And then I fell asleep." It is silent. I don't get why she asked me that.

"That was this morning. It's ten o clock at night. Do you think you slept that long?"

"I guess it's possible. Why are you asking me all of this?"

"Rachel, I need you to think really hard. Do you remember what Gold said is wrong with you?" Snow is looking at me desperately so I try to think back to the conversation. All I remember is him saying I had to leave Storybrooke to get better. I tell them that.

"So she really doesn't remember?" That was Red. Her head is tilted like a dog that is thoroughly confused. I feel myself start to get upset and I start to cry for no reason.

"Remember what! Don't you believe me? I really don't remember Gold saying what was wrong." Snow walks over to me and puts her hand on my shoulder and sits down on the bed. She sighs before speaking.

"It's okay. We know you don't remember, so I'm going to refresh your mind. Please, just listen, you aren't going to remember knowing any of this. But you did at one point. You remember Mr. Gold coming to see you right?" I nod "He came because you had a seizure, and we were worried because you didn't remember anything about it. And he told us that as long as you are in Storybrooke you will continue to have seizures more and more often, and each time you have one you will lose your memories."

"So I had a seizure again is what you are saying. And that's why I don't remember?" All the girls in the room nod. "You said that was this morning. Did anything else happen I'm not remembering?"

Emma speaks up, "Henry and I came to see you after Mary Margaret and David left. And we were talking about how there are no curses like this mentioned in his book. But then you talked about going Star Tipping with your David, and we realized that the star was the portal that got you hear and somehow the curse that got you in the hospital as well. And right when I left to go talk to Red, you had a seizure."

"How long did it take me to wake up?"

"You were asleep for about two hours." Two hours of time wasted.

"This has to be so frustrating for all of you. Having to explain things that only happened hours ago that I have already forgotten."

"We just want to fix it. That's all we need to do."

"Rumple will help." Belle eagerly mentions him

Emma and Snow both say no at the same time. "We can't have her making deals with him. There has to be another way." Belle is taken aback.

"Im going to go talk to him."

"Really Belle, you don't need to do that." But she is already gone.

"I'm starting to think he is the only one who can get me the cure. I know you don't like it. But I really don't want these seizures. I don't want to forget. We need to figure this out now. We don't have time to research in books anymore."

"Red," Snow says quietly "You and Emma need to go find Rachel's David. Remember he is back in town. So it's just a matter of searching nearby." They both walk out. I breathe out dramatically.

"What was that for?" I ask.

"What was what for?"

"Kicking out Emma and Red. Let me guess. You wanted to lecture me but decide it would be less embarrassing for both of us if they weren't both in the room." She just shakes her head at me.

"I have told you this before, Rachel. I know what I'm doing and there is no need to question it."

"I'm not just going to blindly accept everything you tell me to do!"

"Well you don't really have any other choice now do you?"

"I can't believe you! You are being so ridiculous. You have gone to Gold so many times for help. Why can't we go to him now? He obviously knows how to help."

"I just don't want you involved in Magic."

"I'm in a freaking magical town and you don't want me using it so that I can live?" Now she doesn't respond. "Oh now look who's giving the silent treatment."

"Nope. Only a child would do that." And she walks out. I immediately regret blowing up at her. I hate being alone. I'm sure she is just around the corner. Hopefully she isn't crying. At that moment I see through the glass my David walking towards the door, his hood is up, and when he sits beside me I see his eyes are blood shot. Now here is someone I can blow up at and not feel the slightest bit of regret.

"Why the hell did you leave Storybrooke and me?" I say it as loud as I can. But it makes my chest feel like its collapsing in on itself. Maybe it was worth it to show how much that hurt me.

"I was scared." He isn't looking at me in the eye.

"You don't think I'm scared? I'm having freaking seizures left and right losing all my memories and you don't think I'm scared!"

"I never said that you weren't."

"You were supposed to be here for me. You were supposed to be my one ounce of normalcy and you left and ruined it. Now there is no sense of home when I look at you. Only pain and loss."

"You don't mean that." His voice cracks and his eyes look weary.

"Maybe I do. And now no one is listening to me over here. No one. And you weren't here to help me get them to listen. I need Gold to cure me. He is the only one who can do it. But they don't want me to get involved in magic."

"And I agree with them."

"Of course you do. Because everyone just loves telling me that I'm wrong."

"WE DISAGREE BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU, RACHEL. DON'T YOU GET IT.? WE ARE SUFFERING TOO. WE ARE TRYING SO FREAKING HARD TO FIND A CURE AND YOU MAKE IT SO HARD TO=" My hands are over my face and I'm trying not to cry because I know it will only bring me pain. But maybe pain is better than getting screamed at by your little piece of hope that now is a shriveled up seed that has no chance of growing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He reaches for my hand and I swat it away.

"Leave." I whisper. And he obeys my command. And I half expect no one else to come in and for them to just let me cool off. But instead Charming strides in.

"I know you feel more connected to your mother. And that's why you are more comfortable freaking out on her. But right now she is crying in the waiting room because of what you said. Emma went to go talk to Gold. He will be here any minute. But you don't get to say a word. Do you understand me?" I stick my chin up. And he stands there with his arms crossed glaring right back at me. "I said. Do you understand me?"

"Fine."

"Fine what?"

"I won't talk when Gold gets here."

"Good girl. Now apologize to your mother, and then we can talk to Gold again."

"Send her in." She walks in a few minutes later her eyes are swollen and her arms are crossed. This is the maddest I have ever seen her towards me. "Mom. I'm sorry. I'm trying to get you to stop treating me like a child. And then when I don't get what I want I just turn around and act like a child. I have been stupid. And I hate hurting you so much. I hate yelling. I hate it. I'm so so sorry." She walks over and hugs me we both sniffle and rub our eyes.

"I'm sorry too. I know that you are a teenager. And that you want to be treated like you have the responsibility and knowledge I know you have. But things are different here. And you have to learn how to trust me. You can always ask about reasoning. And when you are cured it will be different. But for now, and when it comes to Gold, you listen to Charming and I." I nod. "Good." And in comes Emma, Charming, with Gold and Belle.

"Hey, Dearies. Glad to hear you'd like to reconsider me helping your little daughter here." Ha. Little.

"First of all, we told him about the star being the portal, Snow, and he-"

"I don't know how or who did it. But it can be possible. Seems to be the only possible reason. But even before I knew about that the cure in my mind was the same. Interested?"

"What's your price?" Emma has said it so many times before, in fact everyone has that they say it in the same tone every time.

Gold looks at me. "The price is when she is cured, she must stay with Belle and I for a week-" The room is utter chaos, Snow and Charming are practically screaming, Belle is trying to tell Gold to not have a price, and Emma is trying to calm down our parents. I wish I could join in the fun. But alas, "I have made my choice! We get the girl for a week. Cashed in immediately after she is cured. Give me this or no cure."

"You have got to be kidding me." Charming has the look that has me imagining heads rolling on the floor.

"There has to be something else you want!" That was Emma, she didn't seem too thrilled of her little sister having a weeklong vacation at the Dark One's home. I bite my lip but I want so badly to scream 'deal'. But Snow and Charming would be furious. And I promised.

"Well, dearie. What do _you _think? You are the on the cure will most directly effect." He is looking straight at me but so is Charming who is shaking his head with wide eyes. I look at Emma, she is glaring at Gold. I look at Snow she is looking at Charming. I look at Belle. And she gives me a sad smile. She would protect me. Rumple wouldn't hurt me. I take a deep breath mentally preparing for all hell to break loose and,

My vision gets speckled. I open my mouth and try to speak. But nothing comes out. So I scream as loud as I can instead. And everyone panics. The last thing I see is David rushing into the room a deep concern on his face. I hear Snow screaming no no no. And then the pain starts. And I scream even louder, which doesn't help at all. I dig my finger nails into the palms of my hands and feel blood drip from the pressure. It feels like getting struck by lightning over and over again probably feels like. And hearing the sounds of everyone panicking makes the whole experience ten times worse. I let out a cry again and I feel my head jerk to the side. I hear someone scream HURRY and then….


	7. Chapter 7

The heavy rhythm of my breathing for some reason reminds me of the waves as they crash in and then they pull back. And it's so calming to just listen to the sound of it. Until you start to think about the so many people who have drowned in water. Or the sharks that lurk within. Or how some water isn't safe to drink and gets millions of people sick. And suddenly water isn't your friend anymore. It's your enemy. And your breathing isn't a pattern anymore, it's a random occurrence, and the sound of its inconsistency makes you think you are winning. And you know how to finish your enemy off. You just stop fighting. But you want to hear the waves crash one more time just so that you can remember what you went up against once it's all over. One more time. Just one more.

"Rachel, Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP." I open my eyes. And the heart monitor goes back to its regular beep pattern. A doctor who obviously needs to shave examines the machine and then looks back at me while I am gazing at him in confusion. Two women are at the side of my bed gripping at each other. Who are they? Why are they so freaked out. And why am I in the hospital. I try to sit up and a burst of pain in my stomach makes me immediately regret that decision.

"Doctor. Why am I in the hospital?" He kneels beside me.

"You don't remember?" He looks at me confused. Like I should know.

"How long have I been here?" I start to panic. Am I missing school? Gosh it's going to take forever to catch up.

"It will be a week in two days."

"Did I get in a car accident?" The doctor looks away from me as if I slapped him in the face by asking. He looks helplessly at the two women who both now have tears running down their face. The woman with cropped black hair walks over to me a puts her hand on my face and I jerk away.

"Who are you?" I scream. I don't want strangers coming up to me and touching my face.

"You. You don't remember?" She reaches out to me again and I scream and the doctor pulls her away from me. The blonde one gets up pats the other lady on the back and leaves the room rubbing her eyes as if she had been crying. I put my hands on my head as the pain recoils. The blond one returns with a man with long hair who looks about fifty. And then David walks in.

"David? David what am I doing here? What happened?" He walks up and holds my hand and squeezes it. "Why are these people acting like I should know them!? I don't know them. Do you know who they are?"

"Yes. Rachel calm down. They aren't going to hurt you. They are here to help. You got really sick and the man with the cane is here to fix you. You will remember. It will be alright."

"Who's Rachel?" My voice cracks. Why is he calling me Rachel? My name is Anna.

"I'm sorry, Anna. Anna. Just let the man talk to you for a minute and everything will be okay. I promise." I decide to trust him because it seems I have no other choice. There are so many people crowded in my room and I only recognize David so what else can I do?

Everyone backs up except the man. He comes over to where David stood and speaks quietly as to make sure the others didn't hear. "My name is Mr. Gold and I have a gift… in let's call it… miracles. What I need you to do is lay very still. I'm going to put this liquid into both eyes. And it's going to put you into a deep sleep. But very soon. You will be awoken by David. And everything will be clear. Are you okay with that, Dearie?" I nod. He takes a vial out of his front pocket and one of the women cries out in anger.

"Not a- don't do that to her!" Mr. Gold turns around to look at her and shrugs.

"It's the only way, Dearie!" He does a little laugh and looks back at me. I hear whispering from the onlookers but try to ignore them and focus on the vial. The liquid is clear, maybe even water. He asks me if I'm ready and I nod again. And as he puts the first drop in and I blink rapidly my vision starts to blur, and I wonder if I really should trust this man. But it is too late. The drop goes in the other eye and everything gets blurry.

I'm falling but I don't flail my limbs. I land heavily on my side and roll over on my back. I'm in a room of mirrors. I wearily stand up and look at myself, wearing the hospital gown. My eyes are barely opened and I have bruises on my hands. I wander around the room looking for a door. But I can't find one. There is a torch on one wall and I pick it up to look at the floor. It looks like a mirror but its black and hard to see myself. I only see the reflection of the flame. I stand there for a moment blankly trying to find my escape. My feet feel warm. And then warmer. And warmer. Until they feel like I'm standing on a bed of flaming coals and I jump up and the torch flies out of my hands and hits the floor with a thud. The flame goes out. And I can't see my hand in front of my face. I crawl forward trying to find the torch and notice long spidery cracks in the ground. Finally, I grasp the torch and use it to help me get up.

I walk over to what I thought was the nearest wall and struck it with the torch as hard as I could and heard the impact of it. I reach my hand out and feel thin cracks against my hand. I hold the torch like a bat and swing again. A crunching noise. I do this 3 more times until bright light seeps out of a hole I created and I stick my head through. The room is very cold, freezing in fact. But I slide my way through the hole and into the bright room. I squint to see an end to this room but see no boundaries. So I start walking straight. I figure if I can't find an end I can just turn around and head back. I walk until I get to the point where my feet ache. There is no end to this bright room it seems. And just as I decide I should probably go back. I see something that looks like little specks falling in the distance, so I keep walking. I walk and walk an as I go it gets dimmer and dimmer until my eyes have completely adjusted and I can walk with my eyes wide open. I reach the specks and realize it is rain. I hold out my hand and feel drops plop on it. So I keep going. It's like walking through a pouring rainstorm. Except there are no clouds where the rain comes from. And I have a feeling it won't stop raining anytime soon.

As I walk my hair is plastered to my face and so is the gown I trudge on knowing it's pointless to turn back now. I think about sitting down to rest. But I really want to get out of the rain. So I walk on. It feels like hours before I see any change. And the change is not technically something I saw but something I felt. Grass beneath my feet instead of a floor like it had been before. I look down. The grass is not green. It's dead. And probably because there is no sun to help with its growing process. The rain starts to thin until it is only a light mist against my soaked skin. I sit down in the grass. It looks like and endless expanse. My feet are aching and so is my heart. I close my eyes for a few seconds. And a slight breeze makes me shiver. My mind feels empty. All I can think about is how I can't seem to think beyond certain perimeters. I open my eyes, giving up on trying to really think something for once. A figure sways into my view. At first I think it is a tree. I call out to it,

"Hello?" The figure stops swaying. I wait. It moves again.

"Hello?" A girl's voice. I stand up and walk towards it. The wind blows harshly and almost knocks me down. I rush towards the girl who is even closer now. "Hello!" The wind blows hard and I stop walking trying to plant my feet firmly in the grass. It doesn't let up so I push forward until I'm about twenty feet away from her. Her long hair blows in every direction and she squints to see my face. "My name is Aurora!" She has to shout in order to be heard over the wind.

I pause. What's my name? I tilt my head. I don't remember. I can't remember anything.

So I tell her. "I can't remember my name." She frowns but then waves it off like it doesn't matter.

"I'm from the Enchanted forest. Where are you from?" Where am I from? I think hard. But it's like there is a brick wall I can't get around. I shrug. She laughs. "Do you know Snow White." The wind hits me hard and I dig my heels into the grass. I shake my head. I didn't know Snow White. She walks closer to me. "I know it's scary. I can tell it's your first time here. But it will get easier. When you wake up. And I promise you will. Tell whoever it is, if you trust them, about me. Tell them that Snow and Charming need to come back to their land. That there is trouble." The wind screams in my ear and I'm lifted off the ground. Aurora waves to me like I'm leaving, hopefully I am. But where am I leaving to? Im sucked out of the room and I see absolutely nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

I hear noises first. And then I hear words, but I can't seem to remember what they mean. And then I recognize the voices, but I can't remember the names they match up with, or the faces. I still can't see anything but black, but there is a tint of orange to it now, maybe coming from light that's in whatever room I'm in.

"You just have to do it okay? I DO NOT understand why that is so hard for you to comprehend!"

"WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK? WHAT IF I WAKE HER UP AND THEN SHE ISN'T HESELF? WHAT THEN?" Whoever that is I can tell he is fuming mad.

"We figure it out if it happens. Right now, I want to see my daughter's eyes. And how is that going to happen if you refuse to freaking kiss your girlfriend." They were obviously struggling to stay calm.

A younger voice pipes up, "I know why he won't do it! He is afraid when he kisses her it isn't going to work. He is afraid he isn't her true love."

"Well there is only one way to find out if the boy is right, Dearie."

"David, I'm sincerely considering forcing this to happen."

"Fine. I will do it. God, you people are insane sometimes."

"Finally! You're the insane one that doesn't want to wake up your girl, but whatever."

"I want to wake her up, I just-"

"WOULD YOU FREAKING JUST DO IT ALREADY." I hear a shuffling noise. And it isn't till the very last second that I remember that that whole time they had been talking about me. I feel someone's hesitant breath against my face. And then I feel his lips upon mine and I try to kiss him back but I'm frozen. He lifts his head. And the room is dead silent. But suddenly I realize why I can't see. I can't see because my eyes are closed. So I open them. And light and shapes flood in and I gasp and lift my head up. The room is filled with people.

And they all stand frozen gawking at me. David's back is to me.

"David." He spins around tears streaming down his face and shakes his head running to me. I hug him and laugh through my tears. "I'm so glad that's all over now." Someone steps forward her eyes sparkling, her hands out stretched. I look down. My hands aren't hooked up to IVs anymore. I swing my legs over the side. David reaches out a hand to steady me. I stand. I'm honestly terrified that somehow none of this worked. But there is no pain, other than my feet aching. She still has her arms outstretched her face looking like it's about to crumble. I walk over to her. I stand there and stare at her, my face dead and confused. I close my eyes. I need to remember. Then I do.

"Mom?" She nods and I smile sadly at her. And then we are together again. And I put my head on her shoulder. I feel my body shaking. I feel Charming join our hug, then Emma, with me in the middle. And it feels so good to be with them. My home. My family.

"I hate to break up a happy reunion but I believe we had a deal, Dearie?" Charming steps in front of me.

"We never said we agreed to that."

"Very true. YOU, didn't but, SHE did." Charming looks back and Snow is all tears shaking her head.

"I couldn't lose her." She kisses me on the head. I hold her hand. And then I whisper in her ear.

"It will be over before you know it. Belle won't let him do anything wrong. I trust her." Snow closes her eyes and exhales.

"Just stay safe. And if he does anything. Anything, to hurt you, in anyway. You tell Belle. And Belle tells us."

"I'm waiting!" I notice that Gold is definitely more Rumple than he was in the show. His eyes are a tint of yellow. His face is beastly. I step forward. Snow still has my hand.

"Light a candle before you sleep." I nod. The sleeping curse. She pulls me into a hug. I look her into the eye. Emma pulls me aside.

"Stay strong, Kid. And just for the record I trust Belle more than Gold." I nod, she pats me on the back and I turn away. Charming kneels down in front of me

"I can't believe we are letting you go again."

"This time is different. You know I will come back." I rush into his arms and hug him and he holds me tight.

"Stay safe."

Rumple is impatiently waiting at the door, Belle is horrified, but she tries to hide it with a serious face. She is wearing a blue dress with lace. And I thank God silently, she isn't Lacey anymore, or I would be terrified going into this. Belle reaches out a hand and I step forward and take it. I look back at my family. I scan each face and stop on David's. I didn't get to say goodbye. But Rumple is already shoving us away. At the very last second I stop walking while I can still see them all.

"It's my turn to be brave for once." And the door shuts, separating the family that is torn apart too often.

****author note**** Thank you so much for reading and I would love, LOVE, to hear what you think so far. I should be updating pretty often because I'm completely addicted to writing this. Thanks guys so much for taking time to read!


	9. Chapter 9

*****Author's Note**** Hey guys. I really wanted to post something today but I really have a lot to do so this is a pretty short chapter. And just a reminder that I am writing this purely for entertainment and I realize that there are grammar mistakes and my writing isn't super eloquent. But hey, I'm not perfect. I will try to post the next chapter by Thursday evening. Love you all!

When we reach what Rumple calls his "humble abode" all I can think about is this place is everything but humble. A large stain glass window catches my eye as we pull up, but I can't tell if there is a depiction within or just a pattern. Belle keeps trying to get me to talk but I can't focus on her right now. All I can think about is why did Rumple want me for a whole week. And what are Charming, Snow, and Emma going to do. Hopefully not worry.

I thought about playing the victim, and refusing to get out of the car, or screaming profanities at him. But good would that really do? Nothing. I know him. He can have a good side, but there is a side to him that terrifies me and I am going to make it my main goal this week to make sure I don't see it.

"Well, Dearie. For now I think you will be of best use to me by giving Belle company while I go out to arrange a little something for later." I shiver. _Later. _ But at least he is giving me some time to talk to Belle without worrying about him lurking around any corner. He walks us up to the house. His home is really more like a mansion, and then walks away without saying another word.

I force my mouth shut at the sight of the interior of Mr. Gold's house. I vaguely remember it being in the show once or twice, but the camera didn't do it any justice. Belle awkwardly just stares at me and then asks if I need anything.

"No. Not really. Belle, can I ask you something?"

"Of course." She smiles at me.

"Why does Gold want me for a week? He could have asked for so many things but he chose me, I just don't understand his reasoning." She shakes her head.

"I really am not sure. I tried to get him to do it out of the goodness of his heart but he refused."

"Do you think he really has any goodness in him? He looks like he is morphing back into his fairy-tale self. A beast. Doesn't that bother you?" I'm curious. Belle sits in a chair in the kitchen.

"I like to believe there is goodness in every person's heart, no matter how dark the mask they wear is. And I most definitely believe that with Rumple."

"But why is he changing back? I thought he would stay Gold?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's the magic?" I shake my head in confusion but I can tell she doesn't really want to talk about it, and to be honest, my stomach is in knots just thinking about his return to the house.

Belle gives me a quick tour of the place. I notice she skips a few doors, but I decide there is probably a reason why she does this, so I don't mention it. Just as we sit down again, Rumple walks in, right past us, and down a set of stairs. I look at Belle with a questioning look, but she just shrugs. We both hear a loud crashing noise. We both stand.

"No. Stay here. He is obviously upset. I'm going to go talk to him." I watch her hurry down the stairs. I sit tapping my legs for a while and still Belle does not return to explain. I take this opportunity to look around the house more in depth. I look at shelves, and peek in drawers, glancing behind me every few seconds to make sure I'm not caught. I'm exploring the dining room when a particular cup catches my eye on the mantel piece. I walk over to it and reach my hand out…

"And what do you think you are doing, Dearie?" I spin around and put my hands up in the air showing I didn't touch what I know his probably still is one of his most prizes possessions. "Snooping around I see? Not particularly following guest host code are we?"

"I'm not your guest!" I know I was planning on being cordial but I hate the way he is looking at me.

"Oh! Fair enough. And I assume you would refer yourself as a prisoner? Hm?" I don't respond because I see where this is going. I should have just kept my mouth shut. He paces across the room, "And if you are my dear little prisoner, you should have a special room to dwell, don't you think?"

"Where is Belle." I'm backing away from him slowly.

"Don't worry about her. She is just cleaning up downstairs." I run into the wall. "Come with me, Dearie, and I will show you your room." I obey because really I have no other choice. We walk upstairs and I try not to think about the Rumbelle episode where he threw her in a jail cell. He opens a door at the end of the hall and shoves me in. "We'll talk later, Dearie." I hear Belle running up the stairs but before she can save me he slams the door in my face. And I lean against it and look around the room, my back sliding down against the wall just as my heart does as I see my home for the next week.


	10. Chapter 10

****Author's Note: Hey, Guys! I just wanted to say I love getting feedback from you all! I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by Saturday evening.I love you all and I hope you have a great day tomorrow!****

The white floor gleams as if not one person has ever even looked at it. It is somewhat soft to the touch, but the material isn't anything like a carpet. It does not comfort me that the room is not what I expected it to be, a jail cell, because here's the thing, there is not one item of furniture to be seen. But maybe it is a jail cell, just one with a different decorative theme. No bed, no chairs, nothing. Everything is white. Maybe it is symbolism or something. I push myself up to my feet and examine every corner, only to find there is not a speck out of place.

I stayed awake all night if my memory is correct. I'm afraid to sleep knowing that I will probably drift back to the other world and I don't want to go back there. All I remember about it is that it wasn't pleasant. And if I remember correctly from the episodes, that world is not pleasant for anyone who enters it. If I had a candle to light maybe I would feel better, seeing how that always seemed to work for Snow, but of course there is not one. So I stay awake and think instead.

I'm not used to it being so quiet all the time. Back in the hospital there was always the beeping of the heart monitor or the sounds of footsteps out in the hall. But here, there is only the sound of my racing heart and my thoughts of family. Belle brought me food this morning and I tried to talk to her but she would not look me in the eye. I have no other visitors other than Belle when she brings me a meal, so I use her as a measurement of what time it is during the day. When what I assume is dinner comes I don't eat, my stomach is in knots and food just doesn't sound appealing. Instead I curl up into a ball, and lay there with this feeling of numbness. I am unable to feel sorry for myself, unable to be angry at Rumple, unable to miss my family; all I feel is the emptiness. I am just numb. And maybe that is me trying to save myself from the pain of feeling all the things I should be feeling.

It's my third day and I know there must be dark circles engraved under my eyes. All I get to do is think in here and it is starting to drive me insane. I wonder if all of this is just in my imagination, while really I'm still in the hospital, or even worse, still back home with the first name Anna. The lack of sleep is not helping. I have no one to protect me, to wake me up when things get bad in there. So I just decided it's not worth it to try.

After Belle brings in lunch I lie on my back and look at the ceiling. I try to imagine I'm looking up at the stars. But all I see is white. And I close my eyes. Maybe if I just went to sleep for a-

The door opens. I immediately sit up and back myself up against the farthest wall. Rumple stands in the doorway his cane in hand his eyes an eerie yellow.

"Well, Dearie, here I am. Looks like you aren't dressed for a guest." I glare at him as he enters my little room.

"Why am I here, Gold? What good do I do for you in this room?" I say it in the bravest voice I can muster but he only laughs at me.

"I see you still have that fire in your eyes. Well, I guess you are Snow White's daughter, so it shouldn't surprise me." He paces back and forth, I eye his black cane and see the flashes of remembering vividly, it repeatedly hitting Belle's father and I can't help but shiver.

"If you aren't going to tell me what I'm doing cooped up in here, then what is the true reason behind your visit?" The face he gives me mirrors Regina's when she visited Mary Margaret in jail. _I wanted to see you while I still can…_The smile of victory.

"I wanted to see you..." He is so very close now. I tilt my head, waiting. "Well, why don't I just show you," He lifts his cane in the air and I scream. And he just laughs. The door clicks open. "What did you think I was going to do, Dearie? Beat you?" He offers me a hand and I just stare at it for a moment. "Well?" I grab it and he pulls me up.

I follow him down the hall and into another room. There sits on the table a single piece of paper in flowing handwriting:

_I tolerate the moon. I can't sit by the sun. Banish me with torchlight, and you will see me run._

"A riddle." He does his little giggle. I knew the answer immediately, "Darkness."

"Indeed, Dearie." Belle walks in and sits down in a chair as Rumple swipes the paper off the table.

"Is that all you wanted me for?" He laughs again and motions for me to sit down and I do, strategically a little behind Belle. Just in case.

"Goodness no! I just wanted to make sure I got you in the right mindset before I ask you the real question."

"Which is?" He looks down at his hands. They are scaly. Not human hands in the purest sense. Belle speaks up.

"As you can see he is fully returning to the form of him that is Rumplestiltskin. All we want is your opinion, do you think that there is any way he can stay human?"

"Don't forget that I want to stay human, but still have my power." Rumple chimes in. Belle shakes her head. Why do they care what I think? I'm just some girl, there is nothing special about my honest opinion other than it actually _is_ honest. But I decide to give it to them. For Belle. I know Rumple probably really doesn't care what he looks like at all anyways.

"I have two theories for you to think about: First off, if I do recall correctly, when Belle kissed you the first time you almost became human again. Now I always wondered why after all this time where you have been together, you never have turned back. Maybe it's because you won't let her turn you back, because you choose power over _love. _My second point within that is that unless you do choose love over power you probably will change completely back into Rumplestiltskin. My second theory is that magic coming back is finally changing you back to your old self and that there is no possible way you can stop it from happening other than... to die." Belle looks at her hands and Rumple tilts his head at me.

"You are being honest in your theories, I presume. I am thankful for that." He stands up and walks out. So I guess that's it.

"Belle-" She interrupts me by standing up so I trail off until she says,

"Come on, I will take you to your new room." A new room. I feel myself smile. Hopefully this one isn't really a jail cell. She opens a new door. I look in and sigh in relief.

"Thanks, Belle."

"My room is just down the hall if you need anything. You really should try to get some rest, you look exhausted. I will check in later." She shuts the door and I walk over to the plush bed and lay down. It must be sometime in the late afternoon. I put my head on the pillow. Maybe I will just rest my eyes for a few seconds….


	11. Chapter 11

****Author's note: I'm overwhelmed by the idea that people actually are reading this still, and I just wanted to thank you so much for sticking with me! I love you all and hope you have a great weekend****

There is nothing. But then everything all at once.

I stand amidst tall swaying grass that towers over my head. I feel the panic swell within me the sweet idea of surrender slowing sinking to the back of my mind. The blades slice through my skin but all I want is an easy way out of this, so I run faster. The echoes of something beat within my heart a faster rhythm then my feet can travel… a remembering. I slow to a jog right as the grass suddenly stops and my feet are against what feels like cold tile. A blinding brightness greets me as I walk forward. And then I remember that I have been here before. And I search for the wall that will lead to the dark room. I feel the empty spot in the ground and before I register what an empty spot means in the ground… I am falling.

I land heavily on my side. I feel sweat slide down the sides of my face as I look up from the floor and quickly stand on my feet. My muscles are tight and the cuts from the grass ooze blood and I try not to look at them. Try not to think about the pain I should be feeling. I just want to leave. I want to be home sleeping peacefully. I want to be with my family. I want to get out. But instead I'm inside of a red burning room.

Flames surround me and make it hard to see if there is anything else here. A burst of a licking flame snaps towards me and I jump back, shading my eyes. And then I see her.

"HELLO!" I scream. I know her. She was here last time.

The flames lower to the ground and the girl walks towards me. She wears some sort of armor, not anything like what a knight would wear, but more feminine. She reaches out and the flames reappear creating a wall between us.

"DID YOU TELL SNOW?" I tilt my head at her. Tell Snow what? I ask. "TELL HER MY LAND IS IN DANGER!" I look down. I remember now. I can't believe I forgot to tell. I shake my head and the flames spread us farther apart. Why can't they just let us talk, I hear myself think. I bite my lip. Fine. I back up. And then run as fast as I can right through the flames and Aurora helps me up. I feel myself shaking. I feel no pain other than the fear that I will later. She grabs my hand. "How do you know Snow?" and then she pulls me out of the way out of a flying flame.

"I'm her daughter." She seems shocked by this. She looks like it almost upsets her. But all she does is pull me in and hug me. A circle of flames threatens to close in. "You don't have to come here. Don't come here for me, Aurora. I will be okay." I mumble this against her shoulder knowing from the show that she probably should have figured out by now how to stop drifting back over here. Which only makes me think she is here because she knew I would be here eventually.

She shakes her head at me, her eyes widening. "I'm going to keep coming here. This place is scary. I know that I had your mother to protect me when I started coming back here. You deserve to have someone too…" She starts to ask why Snow hasn't woken me up yet but her voice is drowned out by the ground shaking. I feel myself being pulled off the ground and someone saying my name loudly over and over again. And I am sucked out of the red room.

I open my eyes to Belle shaking me wildly, her eyes full of concern. She stares at me. I take a deep breath. I don't want to explain. She opens her mouth, probably to-

The feeling of a thousand knives slice through my legs and arms as I cry out the pain making me see stars. My breath is ragged. An intense heat burns through the side of my shirt and thrashes my skin with its deep bite of intense warmth. I bite my lip. Hard. I know I must have gotten more burns than that. And that's when the skin on my neck practically catches flame from such intense pain. I look up at Belle trying so hard not to start crying. I know it won't do any good. She has her hands covering her mouth in shock.

"The sleeping curse, Belle. After you… wake up the first…. time, the world haunts you every time you fall asleep." I take raspy breaths. She runs out of the room and I hear her dialing a phone. I can't hear what she says but I know she must either be calling the hospital, or my family. I desperately hope it's my family. She rushes back into the room. I silently wonder where Rumple is and she answers as if she had heard,

"Rumple left early at night, I don't know where he went. I heard you screaming and found you unmoving other than your ragged breathing. I didn't know what was happening." She sits there with me in silence until we hear a door open. I look up at Belle and she looks back at me, and then gets up and yells,

"She's up here." The sound of pounding feet against the stairs reaches me. Emma is first, wearing a gray tank and jeans, her hair up in a ponytail. Then, Charming and Snow run in looking half asleep. They hurry over to my side. Charming pushes some hair off my forehead, Emma grabs my hand, Snow grabs the other, tears already rolling down her face. Why is it that we have to come together this way? Emma looks at Belle.

"What the hell happened, Belle?" Snow answers for her through tears.

"The sleeping curse, Emma." She leans over me and gasps at the burns on my neck and side. Charming is examining the cuts on my legs. "Belle, where is Gold?" Belle shakes her head. "Honey, tell me what happened." She now looks at me and so does everyone else in the room.

"Tall grass. I ran. Fell. Burning room. So many flames. Girl. Said. Her land. Is in. Trouble." It's so hard to speak when all I can think about is the heat that feels like it's spreading.

They all look at each other and then Snow says quietly. "Aurora." I try to nod. It doesn't work too well. I cry out in pain. "We need Regina. We need her to come right now." Emma squeezes my hand and then lets go of me to pull her cell phone out of her pocket and then she walks out to the hall. "You are going to be okay, Rachel. I promise."


	12. Chapter 12

_****_Author's note: I seriously am half asleep writing this, so hopefully there aren't too many grammar mistakes. But I really wanted to post this for you guys so I can stay consistent. I got really absorbed in writing this chapter and hopefully you enjoy reading it as much as I ejoyed writing it. More to come soon XOXO.****

_The warmth is coming_

_(It whispers in the air)_

_The darkness was numbing_

_(It held no worries, had no cares)_

_The wind still is humming_

_(Without you the seas go dry)_

_Please come,_

_If you dare._

Henry rushes in and Emma instantly motions for him to join her in in the farthest corner away from me. She whispers something in his ear and I watch his eyes dart back and forth, from me and then to the doorway where Regina now stands. Her hair looks perfect, and she is wearing sleek black pants and a red blouse. She stands with her hands on her hips, her eyebrows slightly raised as she takes in the scene.

"Well I can't say I'm surprised. But, I must say, I do love a girl who is loved enough to force _Ms. Swan_ to come to _me_ for help." Emma crosses her arms and Henry rubs the sleep from his eyes. She doesn't move a muscle. She stands eerily still and we all wait.

Snow gets impatient. "Regina." The Queen smirks, and then snorts when she notices Snow's indignant face, but does not argue with her. She comes over to my side. Snow backs away from me. The Queen leans over the bed and looks me right in the eyes.

"It looks like somebody played with fire…and got burnt." I can almost see the invisible forces that barely hold Charming back from Regina through his rage.

"Regina." She looks away from me and instead at my mother who, I might add, looks like she is about to karate kick a certain someone out the window.

"My dear, Snow, it's as if you didn't raise her. A royal playing with fire, who would have thought?" I can't look at her. I can't look at anyone.

"Why are you suddenly so hostile?" Emma steps forward. Henry's eyes are wide. Arguments like this must not be as common anymore. "You came to help didn't you?"

"I came to help, Emma, because I owe it to you." I take note that this has more meaning to it than Regina is making it seem.

"Well. You aren't doing me any favors by standing there mocking us, are you?" Regina turns to me and shakes her head, suddenly her face softens.

"This is even worse than when Henry got those burns trying to-"

"COULD YOU PLEASE!" Regina doesn't wait a moment longer. She lifts her hands and closes her eyes. I feel nothing. And nothing is a million times better than the something I was feeling before. Pain. I look at Regina, she opens her eyes and I stare into them, trying to send a message to her that I am too afraid to actually verbalize with my family in the room. Leave a scar, I think at her. I want to remember. I have had to forget things like this too often since I have been here. For just once, I want something visible that will help me remember. Regina nods. She casually scratches her neck. And I realize she understands. And with that she turns and storms out, her heels echoing down the hall, growing fainter until finally I realize everyone is patiently waiting for me to do something.

I make an effort to sit up, and it goes surprisingly better than I thought it would. I swing my legs over the side. Emma puts a hand on my shoulder,

"I'm going to take Henry back to bed. I will see you back at the place." I nod. She and Henry leave. Belle sits beside me.

"You leave tonight. As soon as possible." I tilt my head. It is really only my fourth day here. I technically have three days left. And I know Mr. Gold would not be happy.

"That would be breaking the deal. Belle, I don't want to get you in trouble with Gold."

"I will deal with him. Rachel, you need to get home. I feel terrible that this happened here." She shouldn't. It wasn't her fault, and it wasn't Gold's either.

"Belle-" Snow grabs my hand and looks at me. My mouth is still open and I forget the words I was about to say. I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder.

"It's time to go home." Charming looks exhausted. I look at Belle and she nods towards the door. We get up and start to leave the room. I stop walking. And Snow lightly tugs at my hand. I turn around.

"Belle, if you ever have some time, I would love to have a tour of the library." She looks down and smiles.

"I would love that." I smile back at her and then Charming practically drags me down the stairs, which is funny considering I probably got more sleep than him tonight.

We drive in Charming's truck in somewhat silence. I answer some questions for Snow about how I feel, but other than that, I think we are all in a dreamlike state. We park behind Emma's yellow bug, and I hear my faint laugh above the sound of doors shutting, before I register I'm even smiling.

"What?" I smile even wider. Snow is so confused. She is probably wondering why the heck I'm grinning like an idiot.

"Nothing. I'm just happy to be here." At that they both grab my hands. Suddenly, I feel like a little kid again. This is the way it should have been.

I stare at the apartment door and take a deep breath. "I'm guessing you guys never did find a house?" Snow shakes her head.

"We couldn't bear to leave this place. It's so cozy. You'll see."

"Makes sense."

"You ready?" I guess so. She opens the door. The first thing I see is Emma passed out on the couch. So much for staying up for me.

The apartment is way bigger than what I thought it would be, which is definitely a good thing since there are so many people living here. Snow whispers a little tour to me. She points to the bed just a few steps from the kitchen. "That's Charming and I's bed. Henry and Emma sleep upstairs usually. For a while I think you are going to be in our bed, and we will sleep on the pull- out couch. But we will figure something out more permanent later." Right on cue, I yawn loudly. But I don't want to go to sleep. Charming mumbles something about checking on Henry.

"Was it bad?" At first I don't know what she is referring to but then I know.

"I saw Aurora again." Snow is trying to be sneaky but she is totally steering me towards the bed. She must be exhausted. But I don't want to sleep. I don't want to go back there.

"We will have to talk about that tomorrow." She plops down on the bed and I sit beside her.

"You can sleep, Snow. I will be okay." I blink rapidly; I might fall asleep before she can even respond.

"Rachel, you can't stay awake forever."

"I know, but I'd rather not…" I yawn again. Snow pokes me on the nose.

"I will be right here. I won't let you go there. I promise. Now lay down." Her motherly voice convinces me. I lay here as Snow plays with my hair humming what sounds like a lullaby. I lay here and I think about how lucky I am to have a woman who can instantly become a mother even when she has missed fifteen years of her daughter's life. I lay here and I am amazed at how I really am here, in Storybrooke. How this really is happening, I don't know. But it is. And sometimes you reach a point in your life where you don't want to question the miracles in life anymore. You just want to live them.


	13. Chapter 13

Terrible. Horrible. Worse than ever before. Snow is sitting up looking at me with wide eyes. She leans against the wall and she watches me as I let my breathing roll in. When I feel somewhat stable I scoot up next to her and put my head on her shoulder.

"Are they ever going to stop?" At this point I'm getting close to swearing off sleep forever. And yet I said that last time. Snow leans over and lights a candle setting it by the table. We sit there in silence. We both know it could be a while before this world fades. "Mom?" So many feelings wrapped up in one simple, three lettered word. The blends of fear and nerves mix with the beautiful way the word feels when I say it. Like an electric shock. It just feels right.

I close my eyes as she puts her arm around my shoulders. And suddenly all I want to do is cry. I pull away from her so I can see her eyes. The light shining through the blinds of the nearest window makes them sparkle, showing the quality that is so hard to fully describe. She looks alive. Really alive. Not just barely breathing, but ready, awake, and alert. She looks back at me and the smile comes. The one that you can tell is genuine because of the crinkles next to her eyes and nose. She really smiles at me. I think of all the wallpapers I had of her and Josh, how I used to wonder what it would be like to just really live the story. I can't say this is exactly how I imagined it. For some reason I saw it in my mind as peaceful. But this town will never be at peace, there will always be something going on, some drama that needs to be dealt with.

I don't want to question how I got here. But sometimes I feel a pang of guilt. I left a family behind. A school, full of teachers that filled me with a passion to discover, full of friends I could laugh and cry with. And I left them all and for days they didn't even cross my mind, as if I erased them. But they are a part of me, those people who were in my past life. But so is the girl who sits here. I am both the weakest parts of myself and the strongest. I just have to figure out how to discover how to blend those two together. I smile thinking of Charming's desperate "We Are Both" speech at the town line. Our storylines really aren't that different.

Snow leans forward and cups my face with her hand and I can't stop the tear from escaping. It slides down slowly; she wipes it away, which only makes me cry harder. She pulls me into a tight hug as I ugly sob in front of the one person who I always knew I would break down crying in front of, if I ever met her. My whole body is shaking and I sniff the snot back.

"You don't ever have to be away from me again." She rubs my back and I finally break the hug. My heart is pounding hard and as I rub my eyes my mind is filled with the dull pain my throat is radiating. And for a second that is all I can think about. And then I slide down and plop my head onto the pillow. Snow looks at me questioningly. I shake my head. No more sleep. I just feel too weak, the emotions rattling around inside of me, to sit up.

"At first I was mad because I missed so much time with you. And part of me still is. But, now I'm starting to see I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't been there. As much as I hate the fact you barely know who I am, at least I can show you…" I bite my lower lip and look at her; she lays on the other edge of the bed facing me.

"I already know who you are." I shake my head. She probably thinks I'm some strong, brave, princess material girl. But I'm not. "Rachel, I do."

"And how do you know that for sure?" She shakes her head at me as if it is hard to explain.

"I just do. And I know you probably think I have some big expectation for you to fill. But I don't. You are my daughter. I love you. And I have loved you, even when I didn't know how you were and what you were doing. And I always will." I open my mouth to respond but I hear heavy footsteps (trying to be light) descending the stairs. Dad. He sees us awake and walks over. "Charming, why are you up so early?" Snow almost looks concerned.

"I wanted to check on you two."

"Go back to sleep, Charming. We are okay." He bends down and kisses her cheek. And then he looks at me. He nudges Snow farther into the bed and she rolls onto her back. The bed creaks under his weight when he lies beside her. And I can't help but laugh silently.

I wish I could see a picture of this. The three of us squished on a full sized bed, all lying on our backs staring at the ceiling. I feel my thoughts drift to someone else. So I say it aloud, a question that needs to be answered.

"David?" Charming cranes his neck over to look at me.

"He will come tomorrow morning. I wanted to let him sleep." I nod. The silence comes back and he lays his head back down. I don't know how long we laid there. Together. I know at one point Snow fell asleep shortly after Charming did, her soft breathing in rhythm with his heavier breathing. I know there is no point trying to fall back asleep, so I quietly get up and pull the covers over the two of them. Part of me wants to do a little jig, because Snowing. But I don't because the wood beneath my bare feet is bound to wake them up if I did. I go into the bathroom and splash my face with water. I bend over and run my fingers through my hair. After brushing it out I go out and head towards the living room, remembering that at one point Emma was asleep on the couch. She sits up rubbing her eyes and pulling a jacket on. I sit beside her.

"Hey, kid. You're up early."

"I could say the same to you." She chuckles at that.

"How did you sleep?"

"As well as could be expected." She sighs at this. "Where are you going?"

"I sometimes take a walk early in the morning. Want to join me?" I immediately nod. I don't want to wake anyone up, but I don't want to sleep. And this option seems way better than those. She motions for me to follow her. We shut the door quietly after I grab one of Snow's coats and pull it on. As we walk down the hall and out the door of the building, I see that the sun has already begun to rise.

We walk down the sidewalk and I listen to the birds chirping. A thought pops into my mind and I just have to know.

"Emma? Can I ask you something?" She looks at me and smiles, so I continue, "Did you ever figure out your whole love life thing?" She is silent at this, and I can tell it wasn't exactly what she was expecting. I don't want to pry. But I really want to know. And maybe she will say something that will be wise words to apply later.

"Not really, Kid. It's complicated." I stop walking, and she turns around and looks at me. "What? That doesn't satisfy you?" I shake my head no. She sighs and I giggle, and hurry to catch up as she keeps walking.

"I mean you can't really blame me for asking. We both know there are a lot of possible love interests for you here." I notice she looks down at her feet. And my heart drops. What if something happened, to Neal, or Hook, or whoever she fell for?

"All I'm going to say is, just when you think you are getting what you expected, what you wanted, something happens that changes everything." I start to protest but she cuts me off. "I don't want to talk about it right now, Kid, maybe some other time." The rest of the walk we barely talk. We walk around a few blocks past the bakery, and the library, and Granny's. Slowly people trickle out into the streets. We head back and when we open the door to the loft, I am overwhelmed with the aroma of food. Charming has a "Kiss the chef" apron on and Snow is behind the stove scrambling eggs. Regina and Henry sit at the counter talking animatedly about something. They all look up when they see us standing in the doorway.

"What's this all about?" I ask quietly. I walk slowly into the apartment and smile back at Regina who gives me a weird look. Emma mumbles something about having to go to the bathroom. Finally Snow breaks the awkward tension.

"We thought we would have a big breakfast to celebrate your arrival back home." She smiles brightly at me and I just sit down at the big wooden table where the plates sit. My head is spinning and my heart is racing. "Rachel?" The heat slaps me hard in the face, a sudden thing. I feel sweat pour down my face and I clench my fists. "RACHEL!" People run towards me and Charming runs to answer the door where a heavy knock pounds impatiently.

The last thing I see through my blurred vision is Rumple with his cane in hand.

"Hello, Dearie..." His grin is twisted, or is that just my vision? He flicks his wrist and then I al-


End file.
